Radioactive Spider-Mona!

Okay, maybe this title isn't the best radiation pun OR the best comic book pun. But still. I tried.

Greetings! I know it's been a while since I updated last month, but I have been hanging out (and hanging on) and healing from surgery. The great news is that over the last couple of weeks I have really been starting to feel better, physically and mentally! The soreness and stiffness I described in my last blog post is almost entirely gone now. I still have a little bit of soreness/tension when I raise my surgery arm, but it's amazing what a few weeks have done. In particular, I started going back to dance a couple of weeks after surgery and the stretches and warm-ups we did brought back the full range of motion in my arm!

At my latest Herceptin infusion. I'm such a pro at this now. 

Of course, nothing can be perfect. While the initial physical effects have gone away (soreness, tender feelings, tension/lack of flexibility), I am still dealing with nerve pain or nerve damage. I am not surprised by this and was even expecting it. The feeling is very similar to what I experienced after my initial core biopsies. Basically, I will be sitting and feeling fine, and then all of a sudden I get this electric jolt of pain in my breast. And it isn't isolated to the area around my incision/tumor. It can shoot through my whole breast or present on the opposite side. It's weird. It's painful. And it's likely not going away anytime soon. The nerves that were cut need to heal and that just takes time. Maybe months. Maybe a year. So if you see me in person and all of a sudden I grimace or kind of grab my breast... that is why!

In other side effects, my fingernails are still complete trash. Only three out of my ten fingernails are okayish. The other seven have detached at least half way down for each nail. They look so gross and are a bit painful, especially if I accidentally catch them on something. I want to cover them with polish or some cool nail wraps (I have an order of awesome Espionage Nerd Manicure wraps coming soon-- Slytherin House colors!), but that's one of the things I am NOT supposed to be doing to my nails. My oncologist assures me that the nails will get better.

One of the worst side effects that has mostly gone away is my "chemo brain." For those who don't know, chemo brain, or chemo fog, is the condition that causes some cognitive issues with cancer patients. For me it affected my ability to properly form thoughts into words, or it made it so I had difficulty coming up with the name of something. My short term memory was affected, so I needed to make a lot of lists for myself and write everything down on a calendar. It also made it difficult to concentrate on things-- reading, playing video games, even watching certain television shows! Like for real... don't try watching Westworld when you're on chemotherapy! It's confusing enough when your mind isn't impaired.

It's a condition/side effect that doctors don't fully understand but are attempting to do more research on. I can tell you-- it is 100% a real thing. And it sucks. I still notice a few lingering issues. It seems like it doesn't fully clear up right away, and I am still on my immunotherapy infusions of Herceptin, which may be causing some issues. But overall, I feel like myself again. I could tell it was affecting me during chemo, but it was very insidious. And of course it got worse with each session, so I didn't realize how bad it was getting until it wasn't there any more. Having the chemo fog lift, it was like being reborn. I actually felt like me! I wanted to do things again, watch things again, play games again. Things that took actual thinking and processing were available to me once more!

But as I said, I still notice some lingering issues. So if you're speaking with me and I'm not quick on verbalizing something, or it takes a couple of tries, or I forget something and need you to tell me again, that's why and I'm sorry for that!

Radiation Therapy!

Some news about my next steps in treatment. I begin my radiation therapy in one week, on September 4th! Originally, I thought I would be getting four weeks of treatment, but as it turns out... I will be getting SIX AND A HALF WEEKS. Ugh. That's every single day, Monday through Friday, for six and a half weeks. What it boils down to is 33 radiation sessions.

The countdown has begun on our kitchen chalkboard.

Soooo... a bit longer than I was hoping for, but at this point my attitude is basically, "Oh. Six and a half weeks? Okay. Sure. I'm not dead yet, so whatevs." The side effects are different from chemo and, from what others have told, feel like a walk in the park by comparison. But there are still side effects. Mainly, incredible fatigue, supposedly unlike any that I have experienced so far. My new radiation oncologist (yes, there's a different oncologist for everything!) told me that for the first two weeks, I probably won't notice anything and may even wonder if they're doing anything. But after that, the side effects will kick in and will continue to get worse and worse. It will even get worse for a few weeks AFTER the treatments are over before it gets better.

Beyond fatigue, there will also be physical/cosmetic side effects to my skin. I have been told it will get red/tanned looking. There is also the possibly of developing sores and blisters, just like a really bad sun or skin burn. I was given a whole list of things and products to use and stuff that I shouldn't be using anymore! Once again, thanks to your extremely generous GoFundMe donations, I was able to pick up the first of my "Radiation Care Kits." New all natural deodorant, plain body wash, hardcore lotion/skin cream, painkillers, and a steroid skin cream. So, again, thank you!! This stuff isn't always cheap, but it is necessary for treatment.

Getting all my care supplies ready for the next part of treatment,
all thanks to your generous donations!!

The process of getting set up for radiation (getting the machine just right, my brand new awesome tattoos for alignment, special breathing "games") is pretty intense, so I'll leave that for my next update after I begin treatment. I promise it will be a more timely update, probably soon after I get through my first week in the linear particle accelerator!

Thank you for reading and keeping up with my progress. Always feel free to ask questions, or if you know someone who is going through breast cancer or was recently diagnosed and needs someone to talk to or ask questions to, please feel free to reach out!